You know, except the four walls of my house.. Most places I visit, I am almost always bombarded with questions like the following :
Why don’t you get your eyebrows done? You’d look more feminine. More beautiful. You are twenty-five, this is high time.
(That is short for high time you look presentable because this is the time your family members and the people they know, your relatives, your neighbors and every other middle-aged Indian uncle and aunty you come across at weddings and family functions and get togethers will be trying to find you a nice suitable boy. And apparently most nice guys go for beautiful and well groomed girls.)
Why don’t you ever wax your hands girl? It doesn’t look good if you don’t.
Why didn’t you put some lipstick? (Darned all women parties!)
Why don’t you let your nails grow, you should get a manicure.
And weddings are the worst because that’s where people judge you head to toe. ‘Such simple dress. And no eyeliner, you should try. And also, you should try a new hair cut. You always cut your hair straight… Blah..Blah..Blah..’
And this just doesn’t end.
Now honestly, who set these standards for beauty and femininity?
How do people decide who’s more feminine and who’s not?
How am I any less of a woman if I do not spend hours at a beauty salon or get my eyebrows plucked or my hands waxed? I seriously want to know!
And why should I get my eye brows done anyway? Because most women do it, so I should be doing it too is just not a convincing enough reason for me to do it. It’s like saying, you should try something because it’s in vogue and it’s fine but isn’t it more important that you like what you try, or should you just try everything simply because it’s in fashion. Or because everyone is doing it. That is stupid, guys.
Oh and waxing is excruciating, I know it because I did try it once and it was horrible. So why should I regularly be inflicting pain upon myself just so that I am worthy enough for beautiful people’s eyes? Why?
Do I exist for other people to find me beautiful?
I don’t. Nobody should.
And let me tell you something guys. I do not have anything against people who visit beauty salons or people who are well-groomed. In fact I’d be lying if I said I’ve never used a lipstick in my life or an eyeliner. It is just that I like myself much better when I am without it. And I think what I think about myself matters more to me than some random person I meet at a wedding. And I also hate it when people expect you to look your best at all times, because unlike some people who find it enthralling, some of us find it exhausting because it takes too much of an effort to decide the proper dress, then choose shoes that would go with it and then see if your nail polish goes with it or not, then see how you’d like to have your hair, and the list goes on. Hmpf!
As for good guys liking well-groomed girls, here’s what my friend Mukta said when I told her how my two aunts were making sure I looked my very best at my cousin’s wedding next month. She said, ‘Never settle for a guy who likes you when you look your very best’. And I couldn’t agree more!! Because hey, that is just one day, what about the remaining 364 days when I am wearing my three-fourth pants and my brother’s old t-shirts and my hair are in a tangle? Will I still be beautiful for such a guy? I think that is an important question we need to ponder upon.
Oh and before I end this, every time someone says something mean to you about your dressing sense or the way you look, remember this quote by the very amazing ‘Rainbow Rowell’
“Eleanor was right. She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn’t supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something.”
That’s from her novel ‘Eleanor and Park’, it is a beautiful book. You should read it someday 🙂